This month, being as how there’s an election in the offing and all, in an attempt to be even handed, etc, we have printed an equal number of covers in the campaign colours of each of the major parties, thereby enabling you to buy a copy of the Bradworthy News in the colour of your favourite party. So which colour did you choose?
I have been much impressed with the proliferation of election posters in people’s gardens, windows, etc - this tells us who not to talk to for the next 4-5 years. As usual, a large number of right thinking fields have come out as strongly Conservative. I never thought fields had the vote. We were going to display posters for Labour, Lib Dem, UKIP, Greens, Socialist Workers Party, Toenails ‘r Us. (in fact a poster for each of the parties that might win). I don’t think I’ve missed any. That way I could pass myself off as a floating voter.
The postal vote will perhaps be interesting. Typically 1 vote in 50 is done by post, but this election the rules have been relaxed making it easier to vote by post. It is estimated that as many as 1 vote in 10 will be by post. It saves walking all the way up to the Memorial Hall, I suppose. If you’re a couch potato and want to vote by post... it’s now too late to apply!
I saw an advert on the television the other evening which I could hardly believe. “Crave Control” patches. A bit like the Nicorette things, but they control craving. So, you’re wearing several of these patches to control your uncontrollable craving for choccy biscuits... and in walks Joanna Lumley. Now how does the patch know which craving it’s supposed to be controlling? It would be a disaster if you suddenly started scoffing biscuits and lost your craving for Joanna Lumley wouldn’t it? Don’t think I’ll be buying any of them, thank you very much.
It last happened in 1986, it’s not going to happen again until August 2003 and we won’t get a very good view of it anyway. What’s the event? The planet Mars will get as close to the Earth as it ever does (35 million miles). However, this year on June 13th it will be pretty close. Close enough to see its polar ice and its clouds through a small telescope, apparently. The planet will appear as a bright red light above the rooftops, and the emergency services are gearing up for loads of sightings of UFOs (as that’s what happened in 1986). The last 3 or 4 ‘night sky’ events I’ve highlighted in the Bradworthy News has caused the weather to be cloudy, so don’t hold your breath.
Strangely, for Bradworthy, its been very pleasant recently. Weak sun, cold wind, showers, cold wind, weak sun. Not the usual climate at all. Perhaps it’s an omen that we’re going to have a really wet summer.
We went to the big caravan and camper van trailer park in Braunton recently, and were quite surprised to see Richard Dorrington there!
Many thanks to Draq for this month’s cover. It is one of his better artistic efforts and is titled simply ‘Gloria’. Well if Fatima Whitbread can build a block of concrete in the middle of London and call it a plinth, I don’t see why we can’t call this month’s cover a work of art, do you? Deadline for the July issue is, as always, 20th June. Items for inclusion should be sent to the editor, me, at Hillcrest, Lower Village, Bradworthy. Tel 241748, fax 241167, email theredplanet@bradworthy.co.uk.
Disclaimer: I can’t bring myself to admit to anything at all this month, so even if you read it here first, it might not be here, it might just be an apparition, or an incarnation of the planet Mars, glowering red in the night sky through all the orange lights.