It’s trendy nowadays for management to evaluate, analyse, assess, or otherwise find a way to make you feel more insecure in you job. Here are some of the helpful things they might have written on your job evaluation sheet…
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I would not allow this employee to breed. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won’t be. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. When she opens her mouth, it seem it is only to change whichever foot was previously there. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests. Donated his brain to science before he was finished using it. |
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it together. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. A prime candidate for natural deselection. Bright as Alaska in December. If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week. If you give hirn a penny for his thoughts, you’ll get change. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm. He’s one neuron short of a synapse. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming. Has two brains: one is lost; the other is out looking for it. If brains were taxed, she’d get a refund. A room temperature IQ. Fell out of the family tree. |