"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends")
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
(On going to war over religion) "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend." Yasser Arafat (PLO leader)
(On the difference between men and women:) "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars." Bruce Willis
"And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (founder of Apple Computers)
"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." Dan Rather (News anchorman)
"I saw a large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?" Arnold Schwarzenegger