In line with modern practice, we’ve decided to re-brand the Bradworthy News. Henceforth it will be known as the Bradworthy W. News. Or, given the recent business trend, we could add a non-existent accent to the name, for example Bradworthy News, ^ or perhaps Bradw_rthy News. o
Or we might just follow British Steel (now Corus) or the Post Office (Consignia), and choose a new, never-before-heard-of word, perhaps elephanzine, or magazick. Maybe we could all do it. From now on call me Horace. On second thoughts, perhaps not.
Ray Ham is to be congratulated on getting the electricity company to turn off most of Bradworthy’s street lights in the evenings. He reports that 5 people rang him about the lights being off. Sadly they all wanted them back on again. Ther’s nowt as queer as folks!
Apparently to report that a light isn’t working you need to know its number. I’d have thought “on the Square” would have been sufficient, but no, this is too complicated for the engineer, who needs to know the number of the light on the Square that isn’t on - presumably so he doesn’t accidentally fix one that’s actually still working. It was nice to see the stars for a couple of evenings anyway.
Picture puzzles. Tell me about it! I promise, no more picture puzzles. The latest amended list of people on the photo in the December issue now reads, from left to right, Junior Jenkins, Rosemary Jenkins, Kitty Ward, Joan Balsdon, Keith Prance, Susan Badman, Donatu Hewitson, Margaret Johns, and Alan Balsdon. Hopefully all those mentioned were born at the time, and hopefully they were all in the photo. Lorna Jenkins didn’t make all the costumes, just some of them. The sky isn’t blue, it’s pink. Pigs will fly and so will I. Apparently, so Eric tells me, the names are on the back of the photo anyway (not that I’ve ever seen the photo!).
The cover is wondrous this month, being in the style of Guaghin, or is it Chopin? That’s all! The deadline for the March issue is 20th February. As usual, copy for inclusion (especially covers, as is pretty obvious - anything, even an etch-a-sketch) to the the editor, Phil Mayhall, somewhere in Bradworthy (tel: 241748; fax: 241167; and finally email: thenisawherfaceyehimabelieveryehyeh@bradworthy.co.uk )
Disclaimer: For the first time in its history, the Bradworthy News has an official sponsor for its disclaimer. Spencer Cann reckons it’s the only way that he can get a mention in the disclaimer. So, there it is: None of this is anything to do with me, it’s all down to Spencer Cann! Its alright, nobody ever reads it anyway.