Bradworthy News - August 2000

GCSE answers given during 1999

Every effort has been made to reproduce these gems verbatim.

Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning: Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face...
What is a turbine?: Something an arab wears on his head
What are steroids?: Things for keeping the carpet on the stairs
What is Britain's highest award for valour in war?: Nelson's Column
Who was it that didn't like the return of the prodigal son?: The fatted calf
What's a Hindu?: It lays eggs
Name the four seasons: Salt, mustard, pepper, vinegar
What is a common treatment for a badly bleeding nose?: Circumcision
What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?: They'll insist you're well endowed if you're buying a house
How important are elections to a democratic society?: Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
What is a co-operative?: It's a kind of shop that is not as dear as places like Marks and Spencer
What is the first thing you would do to someone who has been involved in a car accident and is immobile?: Rape them in a blanket and give them a sweet cup of tea
What is artificial respiration commonly known as?: The Kiss of Death
What changes happen to your body as you age?: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get inter-continental

"Monotony means being married to the same person for all your life."