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Bradworthy News - May 2000

Legal jokes

All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? Oral.

Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

She had three children, right? Yes. How many were boys? None. Were there any girls?

How was your first marriage terminated? By death. And by whose death was it terminated?

Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? No. Did you check for blood pressure? No.
Did you check for breathing? No.
So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? No.
How can you be so sure, Doctor? Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

Were you present when your picture was taken?

Do you recall the time that you examined the body? The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Officer, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? Yes.

Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? Yes, sir.
What did she say? What club am I at?

Did he kill you?

Can you describe the individual? He was about medium height and had a beard. Was this a male, or a female?

You were there until the time you left, is that true?


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