2 days before Easter the Millennium Bug struck Bradworthy. Well my computer at least. Not so much a bug, more a complete failure really. Now, this isn't too bad as long as you've got all your 'stuff' saved onto floppy disc, or CD or Zip, or whatever. I tell this to everybody who listens - and everybody who don't. Well… I'd been meaning to do it for a while. Honest… but this or that came along that was 'urgent' and I never did. So… the most recent issue of the Bradworthy News I could find was dated , erm, October1999. And there's been a lot of altered adverts since then.
And when I've used a funny I move it from the jokes 'in-tray' to the 'used jokes' folder. So a load of funnies I'd used were still in the joke 'in-tray'. And some new ones I'd found were on the broken machine. So… if you think you've seen it before, or if you gave me something for inclusion and its not there, I'm sorry, but until I get the broken one fixed (it's called 'Larry' by the way) I don't know what's lost and what's not. Similarly with some of the adverts. Hopefully normal service will be resumed by June. Also (and this is nothing to do with the Larry's present bout of sickness) last month I created a wonderfully artistic advert for Gil Harris… and then forgot to put it in. So, it's in this month - check it out.
Prior to printing this issue I ordered a “Kyocera printer toner, code FS3700”. The lady on the other end of the phone line asked “what's it for?”. Erm “A Kyocera printer?” I replied. Well, what would you have answered?
I saw an Asda advert on TV the other night which stated Asda prices are “permanently low prices forever”. They couldn't be temporarily low prices forever could they?
I also noticed that the temporary replacement 'Brad-Kilk' sign that went missing has been replaced by a new temporary replacement 'Brad-Kilk' sign. Perhaps next year, in order to make it last forever, the parish council might ask Asda to sponsor it. I even thought of giving Tony a fiver to add a dangly bit on chains with 'Worthy' written on it.
I was interested to note, whilst reading “Good Housekeeping” recently, that they reckon that the “in” colour for houses this summer is “banana”!
And just to fill a bit of space, ask Eric Mitchell if he knows the words to the penultimate verse of “One wheel on my wagon”. Lend someone your trailer for an hour or two and 5 minutes later he's lost a wheel. “Did it have both wheels when I set off?” he asked. “The missing wheel could be anywhere between here and Tamar Lakes” he suggested. “How far will a trailer go on one wheel?”. We went back to the trailer and followed the scratch mark back along the road til it stopped - obviously the wheel must be near abouts!
So, if you encounter a wheel nut or two, or four, can I have them back. Thanks to Nigel for supplying some quality wheelnuts whilst trying to keep a straight face.
Congratulations to Keith and Michelle on their latest arrival - Granny Rose is really looking forwards to extra baby-sitting duties!
Thanks to Liam Curtis, again, for this month's cover drawing. And of course no issue would be complete without thedeadline is 20thwarning and mentions to amelia earhart@bradworthy.co.uk, 'Hillcrest', and 241748.
Disclaimer. For that is what it is. In line with the government's recent advice for DIYers and overdoing it on Bank Holidays, we'd like to add that paint scraping can be a fiery experience, still at least Lower Terrace is still standing!