Well, I hope you all enjoyed the freebie pens. I'm told that a few of them were faulty and didn't change colour as advertised, but I suppose that's to be expected.
At long last we're able to buy things properly in metric measure. For those who find it all a bit daunting, here's the Bradworthy News guide to buying in metric. Ask for half. There, that wasn't too difficult, was it? If you want 4lbs of something just ask for 2 killer-grans. Instead of a pound get 1/2 a killer-gran. Actually you'll get about 10% more than you bargained for, but if metric's too hard what's 10% anyway? Similarly, to compare prices, half it. Yep, if the label reads 50p per killer-gran, then half it - 25p per lb. Sounds a bit more than you used to pay? Well, knock that magic 10% off and you're pretty well spot on! Me? I'll just chuck a tin of beans into the basket as usual - it still looks like a tin of beans to me.
I was a bit miffed, a few years ago now, when Peking decided we were all to call it Beijing. We've managed to mispronounce and misspell Roma as Rome, Koln as Cologne, Basle as Basel, Gayparee as Paris, Woolfardisworthy as Woolsery, etc, for hundreds of years without the slightest twinge - and suddenly Peking disappears. Earlier last year I read that Calcutta had been renamed as Kolcut or something, as this was the original Hindu name (but whatever the other religion is in them there parts disagree and intend to spell it differently). Now its happened again. Where the hell is Kyiv? And how are we to pronounce it? Was it once called Kiev? So, now that we've had New Labour, New Britain, New Kyiv, new most things, why not a new name for Bradworthy? I suggest Braadwrvii. This neatly combines an early anglo-saxon feel, with a hint of swamp english (sorry, estuary english) along with the middle england region of murcia!
A quiet New Year, I thought, until Lorna discovered that Marty had finished her bottle of Sloe Gin. I was a bit puzzled as Marty looked quite upright. Then Nick walked in.
Many thanks to everyone who has told me that Des is engaged (especially Dave Turner) - and to John (who was stitched up by one of his best mates) who would like it to be known that it was not a Carling brolly but a Carlsberg brolly, and that it was broke anyway! Also many thanks to everyone who has contributed something to the magazine during the year - keep it up or you'll end up reading empty pages - the deadline for the February edition is 20th January, and copy, pictures, covers, etc should be directed to the editor, Phil Mayhall, Hillcrest, Lower Village (tel 241748, fax 241167, e-mail phil@bradworthy.co.uk).
I was amused to read Bill Clinton's new year message - some drivel about leading the world into the new millennium. Having spent all day watching the world rotate on the BBC, everyone must have realised that the Americans were almost the last to begin the new millennium! Still, at the end of this year he won't be President any more, which will give his successor ample opportunity to celebrate the new millennium on the 'correct date'. Till next issue, enjoy either the last January of the second millennium or the first January of the third millennium, the choice is yours!