Welcome to the last issue of the millennium - well how else was I going to start? The first Year 2000 casualty occurred in Australia where a fire station burnt to the ground. It seems the fire crews were out dealing with a major fire when the incident happened. Apparently when the call came the firemen left the chip pan on the stove - and the automatic cut-out had been disabled because it wasn't 'Year 2000 compliant'. Whoops.
We hope you like the pens - I got them back in May in case the supplier's equipment wasn't working at the end of the year! As is usual the January issue will just contain dates and events - so let me have these as soon as possible (doing the Bradworthy News on the 29th December is no fun, let me tell you).
I was amused to hear about the local resident who took her dogs down to Duckpool recently. One of the dogs has a favourite red wellington which it carries around everywhere. Anyway, at Duckpool a game of fetch occurred, you know, throw the wellie in the sea and yell “fetch”. The dog declined. So our intrepid sucker waded in after it, picked it up, turned round, and promptly got her own wellies filled by the incoming wave. “It came right up to here”, she explained. Still, the dog was so pleased it carried the red wellie over to the pond at Duckpool and dropped it in - where it promptly sank. This time Les declined to retrieve it when the dog yelled “fetch”!
At the recent Wine and Wisdom Rodney asked which was the 'odd one out' amongst the letters p, s, a, and e? The answer, perhaps, is s because all the others have hoops that can be coloured in. Or perhaps it could be p, because it's the only one with a descender (a stick below the line). Or a, because it's the only one that's a word in its own right. So - if p, s and a could all be the odd one out - the answer must be e as it's the only one that can't be the odd one out. I bet the winners didn't get that one right!
Enjoy the festivities, even if they are 12 months early. If you're stuck for New Year wishes try these two... Turn the orange lights off (Torridge can't afford to mend the roads and pavements, but they can afford to leave the lights on all night). Also, bury the phone and electric cables, please. Fat chance.
Notice: The Bradworthy News is not for resale (nor is the pen).
Disclaimer: Despite enormous efforts on behalf of Henry Cat, it has not proved possible to guarantee that the Bradworthy News has been produced in an entirely mouse free environment. Complacency is not an excuse, so we've invested in a pet elephant which we're training to stamp on any mice it finds, especially in the kitchen. Training is going well, and by August 2001 we expect to receive full 'no mouse in the house' accreditation (to NVQ level 3½). In the meantime we wish to assure readers that each copy of the Bradworthy News is individually checked using a rolling pin to ensure that there are no mice lurking within its covers. Our quality control is second to none (or next to nothing), and once we discover what the letters TQM mean we'll tell you.