Strange times. Seen on the end of a tin. 'Best before end of tin'. Obviously, because at the end of the tin, you'll have finished it all, won't you. Now you might be interested to learn that I got a letter the other day - one of these computer/word-processor thingys that you need training on before you're able to do it - which was addressed to Mr Philip John Mayhall (at the top of the page). It started Dear Sir/Madam. Strange times indeed.
For those of us who aren't likely to be up in time to witness the eclipse, I've printed below appropriate ‘before’, ‘during’ and ‘after’ photos of said eclipse.
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For those of you who do see the eclipse, you will of course witness the ‘corona’ - a yellowy fiery glow all around the edge of the moon (you can see it clearly on the middle picture). This occurs just before the sun pops out again and blinds you because you only got the cheapo glasses! So what causes the corona? Well increasingly scientists think it's actually a 100 mile high yellow mist, which is thrown up when the sun's rays vapourise the moon's surface layer of cheese. No, I don't know why you're reading this either!
Thanks to our generally un-credited photographer, Monster Erik the Mitchell, formerly of Gdansk. Remember that the next issue is likely to appear in October, so you should get any items for inclusion to the Editor, Phil Mayhall, Hillcrest, Lower Village (tel: 241748, email: editor@bradworthy.co.uk).
The sun shone on the Carnival, so let's hope for a bit of the same for the Fair. Watch out for Eric's racing snakes!
Merger Disclaimer: The Bradworthy News is an independent holy owned subsidiary of Bradworthy News Ltd, itself a holy owned subsidiary of Bradworthy News Inc, which is not surprisingly a holy owned subsidiary of Bradworthy News Comics (Cayman Islands). The Bradworthy News has a wide ranging portfolio – mainly because I keep leaving things all over the place - and a share capital of exactly 48p which is entirely owned by its 48 million shareholders (except for 25p, which is invested in half a box of those extra strong, extra small Polo mints). So, (please) if you reckon it's worth mounting a take-over bid you're likely to be well out of pocket after simply writing to all the shareholders. Of course, if you place a £3,528.00p** full-page announcement in the Bradworthy News, this will increase the Bradworthy News’ share capital – after commission and other one-off expenses, such as a trip to the Cayman Islands to consult with the Life-President of Bradworthy News Comics (Cayman Islands) – to precisely 49p (except, of course, for the 25p, which is invested in sweets, and an extra 25p I will need to invest in a stick of Blackpool rock when I next visit the Cayman Islands).
All of which only goes to show - whether it's ill-informed, illiterate, ill-advised, illegal, illicit, illuminating, illustrious, illegitimate, or an illiteration (sorry), it simply is not our fault!
**This is a special introductory price because we like you such a lot, we really do, really, really. (Hell, I'm starting to sound like Les!).